30 Days: Day 30 - the end

I'm finishing up my 30 days of blogging in the midst of a thunderstorm and a torrential downpour that has been drowning us all day.  No joke.  I love a good rainy day, but this is a little extreme.  We're having costal flooding from the river and rain flooding all over the rest of the property.  The photo above was just taken outside of the cottage.  It's wet here.  Very wet.

Well, 30 days of blogging.  I have to admit that it was hard.  I didn't love it.  It felt like a chore to cross of the list each day.  In fact, I felt like most of what I posted was just mumbling because I didn't know what to write.  I need a direction for this little spot on the internet.  Somewhere to focus.  Right now, I just post whatever comes out of my head.  I want it to mean something.

All that to say, that I think my posting will continue to be sporadic until I figure out what this space is supposed to be or if it's supposed to continue at all.  I used to love blogging.  This year is Cottage Girl's 9th blog-iversary.  Most of those years, this has been a place where I love to come and share.  But I also know that there are seasons in life and sometimes it's time to let things go.  Don't know if it's exactly time to say goodbye to this space yet, but I'm also okay with taking the time to evaluate whether this is the platform I want to use to share my thoughts.

I'll still be on Instagram because I love it dearly (and avoiding Facebook because I really don't like it even one little bit).  I'll still be sharing snapshots of camp life and travels and pretty things there.  You are welcome to come and join me.  I'm finding that a photo and few words are where the wind is taking me these days.  And that's okay.  Seasons to everything.

So, I'll see you when I see you.  Maybe tomorrow.  Maybe next week.  And maybe no one is even reading, so this is all just a journal entry for someone to find 30 years in the future.

xoxo,

Cottage Girl

Goodbye, week

(by the fantastic Nan Lawson.  A forever favorite artist of mine.)

I'll be glad when this week is over.

Anyone else?

Just one of "those weeks", you know?

Here's a few pieces of randomness for you on this Friday...

>>>  I've been watching It Happened One Night again, hence the above artwork.  

>>>  Joss is doing a big ol' bus tour with the cast of Much Ado on their way to SXSW.  Love it.  Can't wait for the movie.

>>>  The new Divergent book comes out in October.  Oh-so-long-to-wait October.  I've been thinking about Tris lately and wondering how this story will end.

>>>  David's Tea.  Oh, good gracious.  I could spend way too much $$ on their deliciousness.  My current favorite it Read My Lips.  It came as a sample with my order and now I need more.  It's crazy delicious.

>>>  Finished Bunheads and now I must wait like the rest of America for the new season to start.  It definitely fills that Gilmore Girls hole.  I love the dancing.  LOVE.  

>>>  Loved this post from Elsie about lifestyle photography.  I find myself gravitating to this style 90% of the time.  Very few moments that are posed or "look at the camera".  I like the little moments and details, the bits and pieces that catch my eye while life is happening.  

>>>  I've found myself looking forward to Tuesdays thanks to You Are My Wild.  Several photographers post 1 photo of their kids from the past week.  I want to soak in all the light and perfection in each shot.  This is crazy inspiring to me right now.  

>>>  Speaking of inspiring...does it get any more inspiring than a shoot like this one from the great TW?  For years now, I just drool over the light she paints with in her photos.  

>>>  Another post from a blog I follow.  The third photo...I want to live inside those perfect colors.  

And so on and so forth....

What's caught your attention lately?

Shall we?

(source)

I miss my dear little blog.  

And all of you.

I miss connecting with people.

I miss writing so very much.

But I don't have internet at home right now and it's just not possible to write when I want to.

That's so frustrating and sad to me right now.    

So let's just pretend I can invite you all over for a nice cup of iced tea or chocolate milk.  We can have a face to face chat instead.  I can tell you all about my trip to see my sister last week and my love of the new iOS6.  We can trade photos.  You can tell me all about your favorite TV shows that are back on the schedule and the best movie you've seen lately.  I can tell you all about how my Netflix queue is full of TV shows (ER season 15 and Breaking Bad).  We can talk about the books we are reading (me:  My Life in France by Julia Child which I found for a quarter at the thrift store). We can sit and watch the river turn into a pink and purple and orange wonder during sunset on the most beautiful Fall evening.  Then we can watch The Avengers because I had to run out and buy it the day it came out on DVD.

Let do that instead, shall we?

ridiculous standard to uphold

(Ikea on Saturday.)

I'm really good at putting a crazy amount of pressure on myself for various reasons.
A perfectionist is another word for it.
I don't like to try something, if I can't do it well.
I hate failing.


So when I click over to my blog and realize that I haven't posted in days and days,
well,
I just get disappointed in myself.
I'm disappointed that I've failed to maintain some ridiculous standard that doesn't even really exist,
except in my own head.

(the airport parking garage that mesmerizes me every time I sit across it in the cell phone lot)

But you know what?
If this blog is truly a representation of who I am...
if it is what I will read years from now to remember what my life was like...
well, then, let the record show that I'm just not blogging that much.
And that's okay.

Right now:
I'm obsessed with Instagram and telling my stories and days in one photo and a sentence or two.
I'm taking all my photos with my iphone.
I'm wanting to not be on my computer so much and make things instead.
I'm listening to music and praying for warm days to soak in the sunshine.
I'm working long days at camp and not feeling so creative in the writing sense.
And that is all okay.


*come find me on Instagram (cottage_girl) if you need a daily dose.  I'm there ALL THE TIME.

dusting off

(source)

Doing a little re-arranging and re-organizing here at old Cottage Girl.

Things may be a little bit wacky for a few days
while I try to get the layout exactly like I want it.

Feel free to leave your feedback.
Let me know if you don't like something.
Let me know if something else makes you happy too.

It's a work in progress.
A slow process with this girl,
who has no idea how to do any of this html stuff.

Here's to changes.
We hate them and love them,
don't we?!

it's the truth

(source)

When a new semester would began in college, I had my freak-outs. I would call home almost every time in tears, panicked, convinced that I would not survive in college and that this semester would be "the one" that ended me. The sight of those syllabi, piled up with projects and tests and papers and videos....even now I can feel a panic attack rising in my chest.

So, to my mommy I would go. Over the phone. In tears about how I couldn't do it. College would be the death of me. To my friends I would go with a panic stricken face begging them to help me take my mind off the insanity that was over taking me.

I'd like to say that I have conquered stress of this kind. I would like to say that I don't end up in tears or have panic attacks. I would like to tell you honestly that I don't have heart palpitations and tense muscles any more.

But all those things would be lies. This is the time of year where I am in full on panic mode. I can't sleep. I'm not really hungry. I end each day a little shaky and unbalanced because I know that it literally won't get better until...um...November?

I would also like to say that I've learned my lesson and have been much better at trusting the Lord to take control and ease the panic/stress. I would like to say that those old, tried and true verses that I always turn to in moments like these are instant balm to my wounds. I would like to tell you truthfully that I have grown in this area and the Lord has taught me more than I ever imagined.

But again, all that is not true. I end most days on my face searching the Word feverishly for some help. I journal 100's of words of stress-filled thoughts that MUST be written down so they don't keep floating around in my head.

So why do I continue to blog? Why not let one thing go? Well, because honestly, this helps. Writing has always been a huge stress relief for me. I feel better when I can either get my thoughts out of my head or when I can think of something else like pretty pictures or fun stories. Ninety-five percent of the time writing is not a chore to me. It's a delight. A sheer delight.

And with that, I will always give you the out to click away when I have these mental breakdown posts. But I can't lie. I can't make it look pretty all the time here. I can't make the camp life seem roses and sunsets all the time because you know what, it isn't. Some days it's 10 more things added to your plate. It's a pile of work that seems to grow instead of lessen. It's a constant battle of forcing myself to see the Lord's hand of guidance in all the madness that is going on.

plus.....I know that He has never failed, not once, in supplying exactly what we need, the moment we need it (and not a moment sooner) and the perfect amount of time to get it all completed.

In that knowledge, I will do my best to rest in Him, to trust Him, to let go of this control that I only think that I have. One of these days, I will conquer stress. It may not be until heaven, but it will be conquered.

So...take that, stress. You're going down.

6 years

(source)

I ♥ you, sweet little blog of mine.

Six years ago, I created you to be an outlet for my thoughts and creative side. I've always wanted to be a writer, and you were going to be my own, personal writing experiment. Oh, how you have exceeded my expectations. I love you more today than I did 6 years and almost 1,500 posts ago.

Thanks to all of you that read my ramblings here. I so greatly appreciate each and every one of you. I know many of you don't comment and secretly lurk, but I still thank you. I hope that one day, you feel brave enough to come out of hiding and say hi.

Randomness....I have hives. Tonight I made PW's meatloaf wrapped in bacon. I really hope the two aren't related 'cause I want some more for lunch tomorrow.
The end.

freakin' roll

Because I love you and because I was on a freakin' roll the other night I have lots of posts for you whilst I'm on holiday. Seriously. I was writing post after post and I couldn't sleep even when midnight rolled around. It was fantastic. The flood gates were opened.

So...

I have a delightful mix of randomness and who-knows-what-ness prepared for you while I lie on the beach and soak in some (more) sun. Plus, I'm going to try and phone-post when I can (ps...I really, really want an iphone just for reasons like this.). I hope this begins to mend things when I left you this summer. You see, I really did want to post. But life had to be lived in real time instead of being typed out. And now, you reap the benefits because I'm full of ideas and words.

An now, adieu to yur and yur and yur (and hello family and sandy beach!). Enjoy my midnight posts.


xoxo,

Cottage Girl

Well, hello there

I missed you.

Yes, I did.

I could still take a few more days to collect my thoughts, but then again I may get in the habit of NOT posting and then never take it up again.

And that just won't do, will it?!

I did fill several pages in my Moleskin of idea after idea to post about. It felt good to just write out ideas and not worry about all the details. Brainstorming. No ideas were bad ideas.


I'm in the thick of my new art journal class at the moment. Wow. I'm so, so happy I decided to do this one. This is my 3rd RVA class and I must say, it's my favorite so far. It's been so good for me because I'm a very structured perfectionist when it comes to my crafts. I have a hard time walking away and just being "done." I want everything to be perfect and every page/project to be the best thing I've ever done. So much pressure on myself! I'm trying to let go and just do what I see in my mind and enjoy the process. Embrace the imperfections. Love it.

What have you been up to?

will be back after a short break

Gonna take a few days off of blogging. Just need a creative break from writing. It's becoming a chore and the best cure for me usually means some time away. I'll be back soon with notebooks full of ideas I'm sure.

While I'm gone, check out the wonder of some of my favorite blogs...

Hula Seventy
The Sartorialist
A Beautiful Mess
Ali's Week in the Life posts
My Happy Little Life
Ni Hao Y'all
Tara Whitney
A Place Called Simplicity
Once Wed


see you soon,

Cottage Girl

please read this

(source)

I found two great posts this week that really hit me.
I think you should read them too....

The first was on Katie's blog. This whole thing is still rolling around in my brain, so I don't think I can even properly say how it has impacted me. I think I will always remember this. And I will forever be questioning how I live my life for Christ.

I also loved this post and the comments from readers on The Sartorialist. (If you have never heard of The Sarorialist....it's on of the most famous fashion blogs on the www. The author takes photos of regular people on the streets of the world. It's super addicting.) Manners and grace are things that are highly forgotten in our world today, if you ask me. I loved hearing what people said were the small things that meant so much to them.

Best of the year - blogs

Blogs. I love, love blogs. Here are some that inspire. Blogs that are tops on my Yahoo reader. These are my favorites among the bazillion that I read. Click away and find a new one to adore.

1. A Beautiful Mess (been following her for years upon years now. She is one of the most inspiring people in the world to me)

2. Smile and Wave (Wish so much I could sew and craft like her)

3. A Place Called Simplicity (They are my heroes. Since I was little, I've dreamt that my family look very similar to theirs. Children from all over the world.)

4. Tara Whitney (Photo genius. I'm in awe of her)

5. The Image is Found photo blog (They take the best wedding photos I've ever seen. Ever.)

6. Cakies (I wish upon a star that I could sew cute dresses and crafty things like she does. SO inspiring!)

7. my happy little life (and her Tumblr too) (Crafty, wonderful writer, just adore her blog. Her Tumblr is full of beautiful images.)

8. on earth as it is in heaven (Katie's blog) (This blog changed my life forever. No joke. I'll never be the same again)

9. Mammoth Men (Funny, photos, so creative. Photo vacations should be a must for everyone)

10. One Glad Morning (a new blog friend who posts things all the time that I was "just thinking about." Love the things she finds and shares)

11. Promise Tangeman (I'm so jealous of graphic designers, especially ones that use their gift for a greater good. Wow.)

12. Pioneer Woman (Yes, it's really as good as the hype. And she really is that funny and nice in person. Plus, her recipes have made the Cottage girls a hit at parties!)


ok....what are your favorites this year?

4 years

(photo found here)

My little blog turns 4 today. Four whole years of rambling, photos, links and memories. I think I actually love it more than I did that very first day. Today I read back through the years, who I was, what I obsessed over and how different my life was. It's the best type of scrapbook I could ask for. Full of photos and links.

I started Cottage Girl because I became an avid blog reader. I couldn't believe how amazing it was to read about someone's life in real time. I didn't know these people, but it felt like I did. I wanted to have a place to record my thoughts. I also started it so I could post about my trip to Europe that was quickly approaching. Now, I'm so glad that I have all those things recorded.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Your comments and words make me feel so connected. I write for you just as much as I do for me. Thanks for letting me ramble on about nonsense and weirdness. Here's to another 4 years!

contemplations

(click photo for info)

I'm currently looking at airplane tickets in fun new places. Road trip is in the works.

Deep into Ender's Shadow again (after a small side step to read Catching Fire). It's delightful. One of the best things I've read in a while.

Having a QWERTY keyboard on my phone is heavenly.

I love the Fall, but it has such a deep sense of foreboding. Cold weather is just around the corner.....Shudder...

I have major writer's block. Posting has become HARD. This is one of the most annoying things in the world to me because I know it's just a phase and it will disappear. It does drive me crazy at the moment though. Forgive my simple posts.

"write" it down

Last night I was writing in my journal. I've been an avid journal keeper since I was young. Pages upon pages of my rambling thoughts, heartaches, joys and lessons learned. Most of the time it's verses I've read during my time in the Word that really impact me.

So, last night, like I said, I was writing. I flipped back to the beginning to see how long ago I had started this particular one. I was shocked! It had been over a year and I still had a good quarter of the journal left to fill. This is usually very unusual for me. In the past, I would fill up one in just half a year.

I realized how much this little blog of mine has impacted my actual writing. I probably have many more memories and thoughts actually recorded then I ever have. However, they are on the computer with pictures and links rather than with a pen and paper. I am OK with this though. The most important thing is that I keep a record, right? And there are so many things that I will never talk about here that I do keep closed up in a book. But any time I want, I can click back and see what my life was like. And at the end of this month, it will be 4 years worth of memories. Kinda love that....

ps...I woke up singing this song today.

blog updates

(Oh, Vancouver. I adore you)

Cottage Girl is bigger than ever. I finally figured out how to make my template bigger. Quite a chore to get it right. This means bigger pictures. Yes!!!!

I was feeling all music-eee tonight, so I decided to add a playlist to the right sidebar just for fun. It's totally random. Weird mix of songs I like. I'll change it every once in a while. Grooveshark is the best for music.

I'm still working on a few small things, but it's nice to clean house every once in a while. Get all those cobwebs out of the corners, you know? I'm feeling very inspired after watching way too much Project Runway last night. I just want create and decorate everything. If only I could make my own clothes. Oh, what a happy girl I would be....

Wisely spoken

God has used these women to encourage me and challenge me greatly this week. Just wanted to share their words with you as well.

Katie - This post literally brought tears to my eyes. I think Jesus was actually speaking through her words to my heart. Hopefully, one day, I'll have time to tell you why.

Mary Beth - This post made me cry out to Jesus on her behalf. Also, such a beautiful reminder to me that I am not in control, nor do I NEED to know "why" so much of the time.

Gwen - Her daughter had unexpected surgery this week. Her faith in the Lord was so inspiring to me this week as I prayed for her little one. And her compassion for others is something I need more of in my own life.



God is working and moving in my heart. He is chipping away at the "me" stuff and filling it up with Him. It's tough and challenging and so EXACTLY where I want to be.

1,000

This is it. 1,000th post. I've been counting down now since post number 816 or something around there. It's finally here.

And what does one post on such a momentous occasion?
What words of wisdom or whit?
What photo or story or idea?
I don't know. I barely know what I'm going to write about 10 minutes before I sit down at the key board. It's just whatever comes out.

Well, this time, I wanted to give my readers some love. I do write because it soothes my very soul. It warms my heart. It gets the crazies out of my head. But I also write because I know you read. You may not think I know, but I do (thank you tracking system company which shall remain nameless).

So, I've pondered what, oh what, I could do to say thank you. I would love to send each of you a brown paper package tied up with string in the mail. I would love to have you all over for lemonade on the Cottage porch, so we can chat while the sun sinks on the horizon.

Since my budget and Star Trek transporter are both broken at the moment, I shall do this instead......

I'll choose one winner (at random) to receive a $25 gift card from Amazon. You can choose whatever makes you happy. Things like....

Season 1 of a TV show like Friday Night Lights, Battlestar Galactica, Veronica Mars, Arrested Development, 24

Jeremy Larson's Salvation Club

Irresistible Revolution

A Sigg

or maybe a children's book like this one I got for my nephew

or a can't-put-it-down-book like The Hunger Games

Oh, wait...those things make ME happy. For you, it may be different, or they COULD make you happy too. You just don't know it yet. Hmmm....
The options are endless. Or at least $25 worth of endless.

Rules:

To get in on the fun, leave your name and your answer (one entry per person, please!) to the following question in the comments section...


"If the cost didn't matter, I would _____________."

My answer would be, let see.....

- go and spend a month in China loving orphans
- meet Katie and spend a month with her in Uganda and hug little Florence.
- go to a Shootshop
- take off work for a year to travel just for fun

Can't wait to hear yours! Entries must be received by 9pm EST on Sunday. Winner will be chosen at random.


Thanks, my dear readers! I can't say enough how very thankful I am for each of you. Here's to the next 1,000 posts!

It's week-o-fun on Cottage Girl

(picture swipin' from my mom. In other words, I'm at the parentals for a few days)

This week, I will post my 1,000th post. That's right. 1,000 entries of nonsense, randomness and nothingness. I've been rambling on and on since September of 2005. And I must say that I think I love it more now that I did all those years ago.

So in honor of all the fun I have posting, I am going to spread the love to YOU. Stay tuned for more info!

Found

I found this blog the other day and have not been able to get it out of my head.

Amazima Ministries (Katie's blog)

Are you ready to have your world shaken? Cause reading this blog may do so.

Read this post. And then, at the end, make sure you read how old she is. One of the previous youth pastors at our church said something a couple years ago that stuck with me and it seems to apply here.

"I believe they (teenagers) are the present of the church. I don't think they are 'the future.'
I don't think we are PREPARING them (teenagers) to do great things for God. I think we can equip them NOW to do great things for God."

Now, I'm not longer a teenager and haven't been for a while, but I think that I use this philosophy in my life way too often. How often do I think that I have to wait until I'm older or married or settled to dive into a new adventure with God?

He is looking for willing participants in this life that He offers. Am I taking steps to find out what that means in my life? Am I open to His leading even if it means some fear and trembling? I'm sad to admit that many times I am not. I fear that He may choose to teach me through pain. I fear that He may choose to take something from me that I hold dear and that I won't be able to bear it. My fear makes me say, "I'm fine where I am, Father. I'm learning right here. No need to take it any further." How that must break His heart! To hear His children say no to the adventures (complete with blessings) that He wants so desperately to give them.

I have much to learn and much to give in this life. Sometimes I am humbled by my selfishness to keep everything safe and easy. I'm trying to be brave and pray that He will give me courage to step out and join Him wherever He may lead. I want Him to use me as He sees fit and not hold so tightly to this earthly life that I have.

Again, please read the blog linked above. It really is inspiring!