He comes to stay today

For 10 whole weeks.

And I've finally discovered how to do vintage actions. It's addicting! Want to try it on all my photos! Amazing how it changes them.

Sunnydales playground

The last few mornings I've had to get up really early for work. Not so fun. But Angel and Buffy are on at the crack of dawn. Love that!

This is one of the graveyards they used on Buffy back in the day. We found it when we went to LA last Sept. I recognized it on an episode of Heroes this past season too. The palm trees were incredible, but maybe that's cause they aren't the norm around here.

And thanks for the well wishes. Yesterday was a much better day. Life is looking up again!

Check it

New photos from the fab Tara Whitney.

LOVE these...

One day I would love to capture images like this.

crappy week cont...

For some reason, my last week has decided to come and ruin this week too. I just can't get out of this downtrodden state that I'm in. God and I have been having lots of talks. LOTS. Constantly. Mostly about me just needing Him and Him just saying "I'm here, dummy. Why do you keep asking?" Don't get me wrong. There have been little highlights and good things have happened, but I just can't seem to get out of this terrible mood I'm in right now.
Sorry for the not so fun post, but why lie and pretend that everything is okay when it is not. I know it will get better and great things are just around the corner, but today I'm still feeling very much like the pessimistic self that I am.

Here is a little something that will be happier than my lousy mood. I LOVE his pictures.

relief

I've said before that I read a lot of blogs. Lots. I'm addicted. Maybe it's just my love of reading biographies vamped up in real time. China adoption, paper crafts, photography, Zach Braff, random finds. There are so many that I just love to read.
But from the very first, there has been one that has been my favorite. It started out as a China adoption blog, but grew into so much more. I found it over 2 years ago, just as the family got their referral for their daughter. The mom, writer of the blog, is the most incredible writer. She had a way with words that I was just in awe of. She is the reason I started this blog, oh so long ago. I loved logging in each day to see what was going on in their lives. I felt like a part of the family. We emailed back and forth a couple times.
She decided to go private and password protect her site about a year or so ago. Totally understandable. She was kind enough to let me along into her "protected" world, even after she changed a second time to tighten the circle. Well, about a month ago, she tightened security again and this time I was on the outside. I was never upset at her decision. How could I be when it was her life and child to protect? I completely understood, but, oh, how I missed her. I missed hearing how she was doing. I prayed for her constantly. I kept her bookmark in my favorites because I just couldn't say goodbye.
Well, today I clicked on her link just cause I hadn't done it in a couple weeks. I screamed with delight when the page loaded and it was filled with pictures and new entries!!! She was back! Sadly, the top post from the beginning of the month, was that she had decided to stop blogging. But, I got to catch up on everything I had missed. Pictures, stories, words. It was the closure my heart needed.
And the coolest part....I didn't tell you that she had cancer. She stopped blogging right when she was going to have her last treatment after it had returned for the umpteenth time and the prognosis was very bleak. My heart was so burdened for her, knowing all of this was going on and not being able to hear anything. Sometimes I would literally wake up in the middle of the night just thinking about their family and praying for her that God would heal her. Well, as I read through the posts beginning at the time I left off, on to the present, I came to the post that was the answer to my prayers. Her cancer was gone. Not gone like it-might-come-back-in-a-couple-weeks, but GONE. This new treatment had worked and she was done. Done with it all. I'm crying now even as I write this. I don't think I realized how much this had been on my heart and mind until I read it today. It was like a giant release, a huge weight lifted off of my heart.
It's okay to say goodbye now. Who knows...maybe one day we may meet in person at a random time in our lives. All I know is that her blog was a big part of my life. And if I do ever adopt from China, her family will be in my thoughts each and every step of the way.
Thank you, my friend, for all you shared and letting me ride along. May you embrace the life ahead of you and live every moment to it's fullest.

a good day

I needed one. Big time. This was the perfect place to escape to.

This is my dear, sweet, long time, kindred spirit. We met my first day at Liberty, roomed together all 4 years and have stayed close since then. We both believe that God put us together from the first moment. I LOVE this girl. She means the world to me. She knows all the right questions to ask and knows from the tone of my voice on the phone if something is wrong. She amazes me with how she loves God and strives to know him better. She has become an incredible wife and mother and is still the same crazy girl I knew way back when. 12 years!

I went to her baby shower for her 2nd little one due in just few weeks. After the shower, she and her hubby and cutie little daughter took me out to dinner. Her daughter is so, so cute. She reminds me so much of her.

I pulled out my camera after we finished eating and she instantly began posing. Then she decided she wanted to take pictures of mommy and daddy. Not too bad for a two year old!

Thanks, P's for a super day. You are all so special. I love you guys!

craft time

My favorite creation lately. Sometimes it's hard to give them away when they turn out so good.

la la la

I like to sing Julie Andrews songs to him. My Fair Lady. Mary Poppins. Sound of Music. I think he loves them. And I can't stop giving him kisses....

Full circle

Last night, I ran home for a quick visit with my family before they all leave for the beach next week. I'm too busy at work to leave for a week, so I'll just be dreaming about the beach....

My sister flew in last night with the munchkin, which made the visit all the more exciting. I haven't seen him in a month and I can't believe how much he's grown! My mom was nice enough to let me snuggle with him for a while last night since I wouldn't get to see him while they are at the beach.

Right before my sister put Luke to bed, we had such a cool moment. My mom read him a story in the living room with my sister holding him and me laying next to her. Mom used to read to us all the time when we were little. I have so many memories sitting in that same room snuggled up on the couch with my brother and sister while my mom read us a million different stories. It was one of those totally amazing generational moments. There was little Luke in the same house that his mommy grew up in, doing the same things she used to do. I will forever have that picture in my head.

***This picture is when he was first born. He looks so different now! I took some pictures, but haven't had time to upload them yet.

what a week

Lately, I have been loving the Beach Boys especially my 2 favorite songs "Don't worry, baby" and "God only knows." I think it's cause I'm missing California. I really, really loved it there. Love it, like....I need to go back ASAP and stay for a week or two. I love the ocean and the weather and the palm trees and how life seems much more laid back than the east coast. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the east coast. It's in my blood. I feel quite at home as I see the Bay when I fly home. But it's nice to dream about other places too.

Ever had one of those weeks that was just tough? Like you are just drained and need a reason to laugh and play again? That was last week for me. These are the words that have been my comfort...

"May He grant you according to your heart's desire,
And fulfill all your purpose."
Ps. 20:4

I have been repeating that last part over and over to myself. Fulfill all my purpose. The one He has for me. That meant a lot after I heard about Jerry's death.

A couple things I AM excited about...

• my brother returns after being gone for over a week. I didn't think I would miss him so much. I really don't ever want him to move away. I'm ecstatic that he will be with me all summer.
  
• my sister, her hubby and my little nephew are going to be here for the summer. They arrive this week!! I can't wait to have them next to me all summer.
• The weather is amazing right now.
  
• God and I have been having some great talks lately. TOUGH, but good. I'm learning alot.

What about you? Is life tough, good, crazy, amazing overwhelming for you lately?

Goodbye Stars Hollow

I will admit my sappiness and confess that I cried at the finale. There's no other fictional place that I wished were real as much as this one. When I went to CA last year, we did the Warner Brothers' tour. Much of the tour was spots for the this show. We got to see the town square, Luke's, Loreli's house, the playground, Miss Patty's, as well as walk onto and all around the set of the grandparents' house (goosebumps! I love seeing TV/movie sets in real life.). You can see it here with some fun clips too. We weren't allowed to take any photos on the tour because they were filming the day we were there.
I'll miss you Star's Hollow and the fun people that filled your town!

Legacy

I've been trying to think of eloquent words that would fit what my heart is saying right now. I think about all the things he was and all the people he touched and try to write something that would mean something. This is all that I can get out....

You lived your life 100%. You never cared what anyone thought about you. You proclaimed Jesus' name wherever you went. You loved kids. You loved people. You loved life. Your legacy will be people like me who are who they are today because of the time they spent at your university. I'm inspired by your determination to accomplish the vision that God gave you so many years ago. I can't imagine how amazing it must be to have God show you all the lives you have touched and changed. You won't be forgotten.

Kinda cool to think that one man can make such an impact on the world. I think that's the thing I loved most about him. I didn't agree with everything he said. I didn't always think he was right, but to see him stand up and speak at LU, you could just see in his eyes sometimes how he was just amazed how God had brought to life all those promises He had given him. He loved us as students and, like the picture above, we loved him too.

This song came to mind as soon as I heard the news.

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough?
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed your name unpologetically
And leave that kind of legacy"
-Legacy by Nichole Nordeman

Thank you, Dr. Falwell, for loving Jesus. I am part of that legacy you leave behind.

AP photos from Yahoo

Treasure hunting

Saturday morning, I hit the oh, so many yard sales in our area. This was the perfect weekend not to be working and to be searching through piles of other people's "junk." I got a HUGE pile of felt for future crafts. And a Polaroid camera! I've never had one before and I heard that you can still buy the film, so I couldn't resist. It was in perfect condition, not even covered in dust. I think this model is from the late 80's. No flash and NOTHING fancy about it. The camera was $3. The film was $25 dollars for 20 exposures. Will definitely be careful with those shots! This is the first shot I took, this morning, just to make sure it still worked. I love the vintagey feel that Polaroids have. And the fact that you can watch the pictures appear before your eyes!! While I love digital, there is nothing like seeing your images appear for the first time. That was my favorite part of my photography class in college. Hours of work for the 10 second reveal. Magic!

i "heart" Flickr

It's my newest addiction. I can't stop looking, jumping from one artist to another, drinking in the inspiration. Here are my favorites at the moment. Under the photos are the links to the photographers.
This one is my favorite. I can't get the image out of my head. What one do you like?

1. A Daring Adventure, 2. morning has broken, 3. Freedom, 4. infinity, 5. not another swing shot :), 6. DSC_0708c, 7. DSC_0643c1, 8. Orgy of colours, 9. Little Garden, 10. 1st Moleskine entry, 11. April 6, 2007, 12. pondering, 13. lalala believers of fairy tales, 14. Anthony Quinn bay, 15. Little girl in Guilin, 16. Local Laundry, 17. the essence of fragrance, 18. Mr Potato Head, 19. Shadows, 20. pAink, 21. bye, 22. The most beautiful child in the universe, 23. GoodFridayPoster, 24. Untitled, 25. Untitled, 26. debut, 27. total self portrait., 28. emma, 29. Once you find yourself, 30. Another perspective of joy, 31. Home at last, 32. Vintage tree tips, 33. Shine a little light on me, 34. Waiting for the storm, 35. CherryStems, 36. BlueButterflies




1. closer crop, 2. Akatt, 3. Evening.Rays, 4. Lane.Over, 5. Alone, she waited, 6. Laughing, 7. Girl with camera, 8. The Children, 9. katie, 10. mellow yellow, 11. green*dress, 12. Under The House, 13. lover brother bougainvillia, 14. for the birds, 15. hibiscus umbrella, 16. Measurin' a Winter Day #2, 17. where is the nearest underground station???, 18. Loverexposed, 19. fdsa, 20. 1

Mmmm...

Found this tonight at my favorite store full of thing I can't afford. I walk through there all the time just to be inspired by their home decor and drool over the clothes. But when I smelled this fragrance, I had to buy it. I'm not a perfume type of gal. I have one kind that I found in Paris and bought after I came back home cause I couldn't stop thinking about how yummy it smelled. This one is even better. You can order it from their website. And the box it came in was perfectly adorable.

I swam...

...a 500 tonight. Too fun! I finally have the freestyle stoke down. A big accomplishment for this lousy swimmer. Practice does make perfect.

"God does not shrink when we know Him, He expands. "

Have you ever read a book at the exact right time and it just blows you away? Have you opened the cover and read the first few words and just knew that these words were meant for you, right where you were in you life? Does it seem like the author is speaking the words that your heart has been saying for a while but you didn't know how to verbalize them? Have you ever found God in the pages of a book, through the words of someone else?
That's happened to me several times. Each time, it almost feels tangible. God feels real and alive and right next to me as I read the words. I love moments like that. I love that God shows up in places we don't expect sometimes.
These books don't have to be "Christian" books. They may be. I have several like The Love Languages of God, Quest for Love, Speechless, Joseph, The Hiding Place, Captivating, and the Chronicles of Narnia to name a few. But I've also found Him in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Anne of the Island and Little Women.
I've realized that the more I'm in the most important book, everything else in life revolves around IT. I notice God in so many more places, not because He just decided to do show up, but because I finally have eyes to see where He's been all along.
I started reading Dangerous Wonder several years ago after buying it at a Youth Specialties conference. It was good, but it just didn't capture me so I put it down. The past few months, it has been staring at me on my bookshelf, quietly begging to be picked up again. I finally gave in a couple days ago and just finished it this evening.
It was the right time. The words in this book were Jesus to me. The author (who actually died just a short time after I bought the book) said this in his introduction, "I hope you find Jesus unexpectedly hiding in the reading of this book, just as I found Him hiding in the writing of it." I did. God has been speaking to my heart over and over. The book is about "the adventure of childlike faith."
If you are feeling discouraged with your walk with the Lord, if you are tired of discovering nothing new as you read the Word, if you beg God to show up and still feel like He is so far away, if you are just wanting, needing, praying to know Him better, read this book. It's not a formula for a better quiet time or a better prayer life. It's just about remembering who God is and how He loves us like little children. Childlike faith. Sometimes I forget that it's so easy. I put too many rules and regulations on my walk with God. And they all come from me, not Him.
What a beautiful reminder that God loves me as I am right now, not as I think I should be. He sees the "me" that I am at this moment and loves me. And being silly and fun and laughing are all things that He loves and wants to share with me too.

Creativity abounds

And not from me. This was my birthday present from my friend, Leah. She has more creative talent in her pinky finger than I do in all of me. I'm in awe of her talent to draw, make jewelry, knit, sew and just about anything else. Plus, she's super cool too. Aren't these the coolest?!

Here's the close-up's. You could say that this girl knows me well...too well.

My favorite. We have a mutual obsession with this guy. She was the one who introduced me to Garden State, my favorite movie in the world. And we love to watch Scrubs together and just laugh at everything Zach does.

Thanks, Leah! I love them!

Dangerous Wonder

"I want a lifetime of holy moments. Every day I want to be in dangerous proximity to Jesus. I long for a life that explodes with meaning and is filled with adventure, wonder, risk, and danger. I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous. I want to be with Jesus, not knowing whether to cry or laugh. "
- from Dangerous Wonder by Michael Yaconelli

Loving this book right now!

knock, knock

I have said before how much I hate the geese that are forever around here. They are so noisy and obnoxious and make such a mess pooping everywhere. Well, today topped it all.

I went to go into one of our meeting rooms to check it out before a group came to use it for the weekend. It is attached to a sunroom with widows everywhere are nice soft furniture to lounge on. As I was in the meeting room, I heard a strange noise coming from the sunroom. It sounded like an animal moving around. I walked over to investigate, looking first through the door window to see if there actually was an animal in there.

I didn't see anything, but kept hearing the noise so I slowly opened the door in case the creature may be ready to launch at my face. I turned to look at the glass door to the outside guessing that maybe it had blown open. Nope, it was close. I knew it was closed because there standing proud as can be was a huge (these things are about 2-3 feet tall) goose banging on the door with his beak. He was biting at it, mouth open and tongue out. Over and over. Bite, bite, bite. Bang, bang, bang.

I think I yelled, "Are you kidding me," to which he simply stopped and just stared at me and honked a couple times. I flung opened the door and yelled and he finally, along with his partner in crime, ran off.

Seriously! Those stupid geese!

Look at those two!

They are so ready for the summer and lots of time with Auntie/sister.

***** Yes, I did swipe this from your blog, Katie! *****

Control freak

"Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional or pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself, but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control."
- Oswald Chambers

Read this last night. The verse that went along with it was Habakkuk 2:3. I heard a message on this passage when I was in college, and ever since then the Lord has used it over and over to remind me that He has a plan for my life. A specific plan. Like it says in Psalms 139:16:

"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written. The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them."

As a person who loves to be in control and have everything planned out, letting God lead my life can be a constant stuggle. But the constant reminders in His word, that HE does have it all planned out are such a comfort. And I just love the end of that quote that says that the person who is letting God have the control will be evidence of Jesus. There is nothing more in this world that I want than for people to see Jesus and forget to see me.

proof #11

Summer is just about here. Sailboat races have begun again on the river in my backyard. I gasped for joy when I saw the beautiful sails gliding up the river. Love that I can hear the sail slapping and the people shouting joyfully as the boats turn around. These pictures don't even do it justice. Wednesday nights are parade night on the water. It's just beautiful!

have luggage..

must travel....I'm dying to hop on a plane and take a trip right now! I know. I know. It's only been a couple months since my last big trip, but I have no plane tickets waiting to be used. No big trips planned. No new places to research, and it's killing me!
I'm wanting the feel of a new place, of exploring and eating in a little no-name cafe. I want to see friendly faces when I step off the airplane and get a big hug from a friend long missed. I want to have my camera ever at my fingertips, waiting for the next amazing sight.
Time to find somewhere new to go. Anyone have any suggestions???