China: Those babies

As I was getting ready to leave on this trip, people asked me over and over “are you excited to go see China?  What will you get to do?  Will you see the Great Wall?” Confession time…I could have gone to China and done nothing but play with those sweet babies and been perfectly perfect happy.  They are the reason I wanted to go to China.  They are the reason I actually ended up getting on that plane headed to the other side of the world.  I’ve never wanted to go to China to “see China".  All those other things were great.  They really were.  The Great Wall really is inspiring and amazing.  But it doesn’t hold a candle to the sweet little people I met.  

I never wanted to go to China as a tourist. I didn’t want to go and just see the place itself.  It would have felt wrong on every level.  Dishonest.  I couldn’t do a cruise down the Yangtze and just forget that there were little ones just past those shores.  It wasn’t an option for me at all.  When Meredith asked me to come and visit, and not only visit, but come meet her babies, I jumped at the chance and pooled my all my spare change and bought that ticket.  This was my time to go.  This was what I had been waiting for.  

Before I arrived in China, Meredith asked me what I wanted to see while I was in Beijing, my honest reply was “Molly, Shalom, Benjamin, Ruby, Josie, Baby Kate, etc.”  One hundred percent truth.  The first full day I was there, we walked over to the babies home and inside I was secretly nervous.  This was a moment I had dreamed of since I was about 5 years old.  Not these kids in this particular home, but the whole idea of coming face to face with the children I have sponsored and prayed for and dreamed about for years upon years.  So, walking in that door and being greeted by all those little faces…well, I was instantly peeling off my shoes and sitting on that mat watching them in wonder.  They were living breathing children with precious faces and spunky personalities.  They weren’t just pictures on my refrigerator or monthly reports in my inbox.  

Truthfully, I didn’t think the kids would want anything to do with me.  And I was ready to accept this.  Tiny 0-2 year olds don’t necessarily warm to strangers.  Totally get that.  And I wasn’t about to force my way into their lives and into their comfort zones.  So I sat back and watched.  I saw them run/crawl/scoot toward Meredith as soon as they saw her smiling face.  I saw them pile in her lap and giggle.  I watched the nannies interact with the kids.  I sat beside baby bouncy seats and smiled at the tinies.  It was a wonder to behold.

And then Baby Kate was plopped swiftly into my lap.  Probably by Meredith.  And there I sat in complete and utter bliss, trying way too hard to make this tiny miracle bundle smile.  I just stared at her precious face and couldn’t look away.  
This is the best part of being at Morning Star Foster Home.  Having a nanny hand you a tiny and then go off to attend to other matters.  Your only job is to snuggle them and love them and keep them content.  Challenge accepted.  Most heartily.  
It happened over and over and over again.  I would lifted my arms up to snag another babe being handed over to me, bubbling with joy along with gulping back tears.  Every time I couldn’t believe I was there.  That this was happening.  That I was the person that got to hold them.  

Then the older kids started to warm up to me by that first afternoon.  Meredith was so kind to introduce them to me and show them that I was safe.  Molly, Shalom, Josie and Ruby all smiled at me and I was a goner.  I would do anything to make them laugh.  They are so precious.  Each day, they would feel a little more comfortable around me, which made leaving at the end of my time there pretty much excruciating.  Watching their faces go around the corner for the last time.  I still can’t.  Nope.  It’s too hard to think about.  Like a giant hole in my heart.   

Meredith asked me if there any of the kids that I couldn’t wait to actually see in person.  It was hard to think of them that way because I couldn’t wait to meet all of them for their own special reasons.  But Molly, little Molly.  I was smitten with her.  Her photos were always the ones that I would stare at the longest.  Her smile was the best thing I had ever seen.  
She can be tough, Meredith warned me.  I knew that my chances of even getting near Molly or holding her were pretty slim.  And again, that’s okay.  These are little people who have fears and lives that I don’t have any right to.  So I was cautious with her.  I let her lead.  I let her be the one to come to me and initiate anything.  Thankfully, she was kind enough to let me get glimpses of her sweet spirit a few times.  She let me take photos and videos of her.  She sat on my lap on the floor and scrambled around.  She laughed. Oh, that laugh.  It’s pure magic, I’m telling you.  And to see that smile in person…I can’t even take it.  She would use me as her crutch to stand up and practice walking.  Of course, sweet girl.  Anything you need.  I was smitten.  I couldn’t get enough.  She was the last one I saw disappear around the corner when I left that last day.  Her little face looking at me after she had been crying when she thought she had been left behind.  Her big eyes and perfect cheeks.  My freaking heart was about to burst and I still can’t think about that moment without tearing up.  Little Molly.  I wanted to stick her in my carryon and never look back.  

Oh, you sweet little babes. I miss you fiercely and am forever grateful that I got the chance to meet you.

My claustrophobia is hyperventilating

In one week's time, I will be well into a 14 hour flight to Beijing, China.
(14 hours?!! My claustrophobia is already hyperventilating.)
For those of you who don't know, I've been wanting to go to China since I was elementary school age.  Not to see the Great Wall or the Forbidden City or the Terra Cotta Warriors, although I'm sure those things are incredible. No, I've always wanted to go and just hug the orphans over there.  I've tried several times to plan a trip with various organizations and each time, something came up and I was unable to go.

This time, a sweet friend of mine, who is living over there and working in an orphanage, kindly told me when she got her job that I was more than welcome to come and visit AND play with the babies under her care.  I believe her exact words were "YOU BETTER COME VISIT" in all caps.   Um....no second thinking that decision.  Spend some time with my friend and fulfill a life long dream.  Yes and yes.

So off I go on this crazy adventure.  Semi-scared that China will get the best of me with its weird foods (I don't even like America's version of Chinese food) and over abundance of people and pollution.  Semi-scared that I will not be able to leave those precious kiddos behind when I have to step back on that plane to come home.  One hundred percent in awe of the perfect timing that God blessed me with in this whole situation.  And so freakin' excited that I can't catch my breath.

I'm hoping (and pretty confident) that I will be posting regularly on Instagram.  Thank you Jesus for iPhones and iMessage.  What did I ever do without them?  Truly.  I don't want to remember that dark time.  Plus, you can be sure that I will take 5 gazillion pictures and want to share every single one.  You've been warned.

China.
It's happening.

read this one

If you've been reading here for any length of time, you will know of my love of all things adoption related.  It's pretty obvious from the sidebar as well.  In fact, I started this blog way back in 2005 because I discovered blogging through Chinese adoption blogs.  True story.  Those blogs introduced me to what blogging was.

God planted the love of orphans in my heart before I think I ever really understood what it was.  When I was little and my brother and sister and I played pretend, we didn't play "house", we played "orphanage."  It's true. I would make them bundle up in blankets and I would be the orphanage director who would go and gather them from the rainy, cold streets.

When I was in second grade, a little boy who was adopted from Korea (which was un-heard of in the early 80's) was placed in my class.  I was fascinated by him. When he did a presentation in class about his heritage, I was riveted when he told his story.

Rambling way off track...let's bring it back around, shall we?

A few years ago, this sweet girl came to work at camp.  Selfishly, I like to think that God brought her here because we were kindred spirits.  He knew what a blessing she would be in my life.  But I'm sure it was because she is so good with kids and fits in perfectly at camp.



I found out a few days after she had arrived that her family had adopted 3 of her siblings from around the world, China being one of those places.  I, of course, begged her to tell me their adoption stories and let me see every photo she brought with her to camp.   To make a long story short, I adore her.

Last year, she didn't return to camp (sad face), but she had a pretty good reason why.  She was spending the summer in China doing some amazing things.  Fast forward one year later.  Her family is now in China adopting a little cutie, who will seriously melt your heart the second you see her.

You just have to read the story of how her family was brought together.  Part 1.  Part 2.  Part 3.  And then keep reading.  They are in China right now, finishing up their adoption.

I asked M if I could share her new little sister's story here because it is seriously one of the most amazing adoption stories I have ever heard.  God was completely in every single step.  It has been so neat to walk along side of her during the whole process and see God open doors and make the most incredible miracles happen.  She and I were texting the other night and she said "It just goes to show that when God has a plan...He gets things DONE!!"  I can't think of a more perfect way to sum it all up.

Love you, M!  So much. Thanks for letting me share your family's story.

Exciting news

This little adorable munchkin is Janie.

I've been sponsoring her for a few years through 2 different organizations.

And now *cue the excited squeals* she is available for adoption!

If this little face melts your heart, then go to An Orphan's Wish website to get more information.

list it

(source)

Lists are my saving grace for blogging this summer.
Why?
Well, I usually don't get around to blogging until about 10pm.
Bedtime, no?

Anyway, a few highlights....

♥ I loved this book. Finished it in 2 quick sittings. I'm still thinking about it. And re-reading parts of it. It's one that I need to buy, I think. YA books are the bees knees this summer.

♥ Sweet Poppy. This melted my heart into one giant puddle tonight. Oh, how beautiful. What a treasure that little one is.

♥ This post from Katie. Her blog/her writing was a life changing find for me. Not because of who she is, but what a beautiful picture of Christ she painted for me. I'm already counting the days until her book is here. If you have never read her blog from the beginning, oh dear goodness, you should. You should.

♥ Got to chat with one of my bestest and dearest girls tonight. I miss her. Desperately. I absolutely hate living thousands of miles from her. I miss how she can make me laugh and can read my mood in 2 sentences and ask me all the right questions. I just miss her.

♥ The heat wave broke for a little while tonight. Big thunderstorm. This is probably the best news in days. Well, that and no one has thrown up in the last 10 hours. Rejoice.

♥ Nikita has wormed it's way onto my DVR. Permanently. Thanks, dear brother.

♥ It's 10:15. Nighty, night friends.

Deplorable

I know it's wrong, so very wrong, to be jealous of your friends when good things happen to them. It's deplorable. It's silly. And I'm totally guilty on all counts.

My sweet friend told me this spring that she would not be returning to camp this summer. It was a tough pill to swallow, let me tell you. I knew that I would miss her and all our long talks. I would miss our kindred-spritness (yes, I made that word up).

You see, she and I both have a burning passion for orphans and seeing them find their forever homes. Her family has brought home 3 dear ones from different parts of the globe. We talk about Ch*na and the dear babies that are there in orphanages. We pray over their sweet faces through An Orphans Wish. We dream about going to there together and loving on babies.

Then this spring, when her time to make a decision about camp was here, God threw an amazing opportunity her way. Ch*na for 8 weeks. An orphanage with kiddos to love on for 8 weeks. Of course, she had to say yes. And of course I was exceedingly excited for her.

It's that darn jealously that I must repent of. So instead of imagining all those faces she'll see and the hugs she will give, I'll cover her in prayers as she heads out of the country today. And I'll continually think of her as I love on the kiddos here at camp, knowing that she's doing the same thing all the way over there. And I will thank the Lord that He continues to bring new friends into my life to encourage me and challenge me and draw me closer to His heart.

I love you, dear friend! And I'm only about 40% jealous.....and 60% happy for you....

the blessing of no

*****Today is the last day to donate to So Loved and help bring Esther and Poppy H-O-M-E! It's also your last chance to get one these super cute So Loved t-shirts.

Amidst the camp crazy weekend....and crazy it was, let me tell you....I read this quote during my quiet time....


"God's decision to disallow us to fill roles we - by temperament or history - are unfitted for is also a blessing. Both what we receive and what we don't receive can constitute blessings for us and those around us. God is all-wise. He blesses us as surely by what He does not grant as what He does." -Beth Moore The Patriarchs

Sometimes (most of the time) I need a re-adjustment in my views of God. I am pretty good at putting Him my own little God shaped box and asking Him to adhere to my rules that I think He should follow. I think that I've asked in good conscious what would be good and right for me. I try to be diplomatic and give Him plenty of reasons why this particular thing would be a wise decision. I lay out some great paths that would seemingly just fit well with what I think He is doing in my life.

And then after my long, thought out plans that I think would be His will are laid at His feet, He answers with a "no." I'm completely taken back. "What, God? But it just makes sense. And I'm pretty sure that it could work. Don't you see?" And still a solid "no."

Looking back now, I can see how those "no's" have been a blessing. The blessing of protecting me from my silly self. My prideful self. My narrow-viewing self. I'm slowly (ever so slowly) learning the beauty of the blessing of "no." And thank you, Jesus, that you are patient enough to love me beyond my pride and selfishness and answer me with a love-filled "no."

So Loved

I feel like I should explain my connection with this family, so you understand where my heart is....

I stumbled upon Ni Hao Y'all a few years ago. Probably hopscotching around adoption blogs. I tend to do that often. I love reading the stories of little ones that find their forever homes. Anyway, this particular blog just resonated with me and I booked marked it. You should too.

Stefanie was the one from whom I first heard about An Orphan's Wish. She is the one who also posted on her blog about needing volunteers for AOW. I have her to thank for introducing me to that wonderful organization and the littles that I sponsor(ed) through them. I also have her to thank for including me and emailing back and forth with me and setting me up as an AOW volunteer.

And now, her family is stepping out in faith and bringing home two, yes 2, dear little girls from China. You can read about it here. Esther and Poppy will be kiddos #10 and #11 in their family. Wow. God is amazing, isn't He?!

So, here's where you can help. They are doing a crazy, cool fundraiser to bring their littles home. Adoption is expensive. And times 2? Well, that can seem overwhelming. But we all know that when God leads, He provides. I'm so excited to see Him do things, BIG things through this family's steps of faith.

So head on over to So Loved. You can win some amazing prizes. And most importantly, you can help place 2 little orphans, all the way in China, into a family that will love them and tell them about Jesus. Kinda gives you chills, right?!

wear Hope

My favorite accessory at the moment is this bracelet from Show Hope.

My mom and I both got one when we went to SCC's concert in November.

And they are back in the online Show Hope store, if you want to get one for yourself. A great way to show everyone that you care about orphans. I kinda want another one in a another fun color...

You can read a story about my involvement with Show Hope here and here.

"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."
James 1:27

given

This year, we did a gift exchange for our full time staff Christmas party at camp. They called it white elephant, but I think white elephant is a silly, funny gift. Like rocks in a box or a roll of toilet paper or an old sock. This wasn't one of "those" gift exchanges. We had to buy something nice. Or as nice as you can get for $10.

I instantly knew what I wanted to give. I'm kinda tired of the giving of useless junk just for the sake of giving a gift. It seems like such a waste of money. So, I went a completely different route. I bought a pair of pajamas for a Chinese orphan through An Orphan's Wish. These pajamas will go to one of beautiful children living in the House of Love.

Isn't that the best gift, ever?! Something desperately needed. A sweet kiddo sleeping, all warm and cozy this winter.

After I bought the gift, I wanted to make it special for the recipient of the exchange. I used some craft supplies I had laying around and came up with this ornament for them to hang on their tree as a reminder.


The back has the organization's name to remind them who was getting their gift.

I also included a post card I made with the faces of some of the sweet children that live in the House of Love (including my sponsored sweetie, Shannan). It also had a the web address for An Orphan's Wish so the recipient could see what AOW was all about for themselves (not that I don't talk about it constantly already...)

Just a fun way to think of others this season and not get so caught up in the whole "gift giving" thing. And talk about AOW a little more too!

AOW community

Reverb10 + Community
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?


I found a whole new community this year. It all started with a photo. This one...


It still makes me gasp a little. A huge lump gets caught in my throat. I get lost in those deep, dark eyes. I image her little voice. Her smell. Her little hands gripping mine. This little face stole my heart.

Janie was a child at An Orphan's Wish. I saw her on a blog one day. A blog I read all the time. Her face wouldn't leave my thoughts. I decided to sign up and sponsor her. That began a beautiful connection to An Orphan's Wish. In February this year, Stefanie wrote this post. I instantly knew that God was calling me to do more, more than just sponsor a child.

So, I sent off an email. I found out that I could use talents I already have, things I'm already passionate about to help out these sweet orphans. It's not much. My time is so limited, but it was something I could do. I said yes with a grateful heart and have been overwhelmed by this whole experience.

I have found a community of people who love orphans. Really, truly love them. They give of their time and finances to advocate for them. They are passionate about making sure they are loved and cared for. They are fighting to see that these dear ones get the surgeries and medical care they need. They are doing everything they can to see these sweet babes are no longer called "orphan" but "sister, daughter, brother and son."

We weep over these children. We bring them before the Throne begging on their behalf. We pray that they are told that they are valued and loved and special. We cheer over their accomplishments and soak in every smile.

I'm so, so thankful to have found AOW. Or should I say, I'm so thankful that God sent them to me. It has radically changed my world. I can't wait to see where we are led next....

Show Hope: part 2

(yes, I took photos of myself in the bathroom of the concert venue. no, there wasn't anyone else in there. yes, I was nervous someone would walk in at any minute. yes, I'm glad I have the photos to remind myself of that amazing evening.)

One of the best parts about volunteering for Show Hope is meeting the other fantastic people that share in the wonder of this organization. Families who love Jesus and enjoy SCC's music and get behind the miracle of adoption. Sponsors who love to help wherever they can. Families who have received grants from SH to bring home their dear ones from around the globe.

During the evening we have down time while the concert is going on and the lobby is empty to chat and get to know each other. Usually this type of thing would be paralyzing to me. I hate small talk. I'm terrible at it. But this night, I was a blessing. Hearing stories of hope and adoption. Oh, my...

That night I was volunteering, there was a family there that was made up of mom, dad, teenage daughter and 8 year old daughter adopted from China. (ps...one of my very favorite things about SCC concerts is seeing the many families with little Asian girls now placed as dearly loved daughters/sisters in their mix. It makes my eyes well up with tears every...single...time.) During one of our down times, I was able to chat with dad. I asked him how he became connected to Show Hope, and I got to hear his family's story.

Mom in the family began praying about adoption. Dad wasn't on board yet. But she kept praying and talking to him about it. They went to an open meeting with an adoption agency. When they were driving home from the meeting, dad looked at mom and said that if they were to adopt, he knew it had to be from China. Mom had complete agreement. And that began their paper chase and 3 years of waiting for their daughter in China. They received a grant from Show Hope to help pay for the adoption.

Dad says that waiting those three years was so, so hard. But the moment that their little A was placed in their arms, it all disappeared. It melted away, he said. Dad also said that they just had a 3 year reunion with their travel group (many families meet other families who are adopting at the same time in China) and I will never forget that he said he was blown away at how different these girls were 3 years later. When these girls were placed in their arms, they were scared and hopeless and sad. Deep sadness. Now, they are changed children. They laugh. They have hope. They run and play and have a secure place in their families. It was noticeable on their very faces. They looked different.

It was a great chat. And little A was just so sweet. I got to talk to her for a while. I could see the love she had for her family and the love they had for her. Deep abiding, forever love. Hope-filled love. She was a happy 8 year old girl just like any other kid at that concert.

Dad asked me how I got involved with Show Hope and I told him my story. I have always wanted to adopt, but it isn't possible in my life right now. Instead, I sponsor Show Hope so other families can adopt and bring little ones home forever. I love it! It brings my heart eternal, abundant joy. He said, "that's great! Thanks. We were able to adopt because of a grant."

At the end of the evening, we were packing up the table and sponsor packets and saying our goodbyes. We thanked Julia for allowing us to help, and she ran off to catch the tour bus. As I was about to turn to go, dad turned to me and grabbed my hand in a strong, firm shake and looked deep in my eyes and said (I'm going to paraphrase because I can't remember the exact words), "thank you for what you gave. I have my family, my little girl, now because of you. Thank you."

Can I just tell you....I got out of that place as fast as I could because I burst into tears and sobbed the 1 hour trip back home. I cried when I told my small group the story last week. I'm crying now. There are few times in life, friends, where we get to see the impact that our small lives and the things we do in them have in this world. $35 little dollar a month. It's nothing, really, to me. It's eating out a few times a month. It's a trip to Target. But combined with other sponsors, it is a little girl's welcome into a loving family. It is HOPE. It is life. It is the possibility of an orphan hearing Jesus' love whispered to them in love. These dear, sweet children abandoned and told they are worthless are loved and part of a family forever and told they are valued and precious. Sweet treasures of heaven here on earth.

I thanked God (and continue to) over and over and over for that moment. I didn't have to have it. I would have still supported SH. But now, each month, I will think of the face of that little girl, a happy, dear, sweet treasure now home, forever and loved. The Lord was so gracious to let me peek behind the veil of the eternal, to see what really matters in life and to receive a "thank you" on earth. I will never, ever forget that moment. I will forever be grateful for it.

You can find out more about being a sponsor for Show Hope here.

You can make a one time donation here.

You can see what Jesus says about orphans here.

Show Hope: part 1

(blurry cell phone photo. sorry!)

A week ago today, I had the pleasure of volunteering for Show Hope. You guys, Show Hope is amazing. They are the real deal. You can read about what they do and who they are.

I have been sponsoring them for a long, long time now. One of the things that drew me to them (after the fact that SH was started and run by the Chapman's, whom I think the world of) was their passion to not only help orphans, but place them in loving, Christian homes. Show Hope gives grants to Christian families to help with the cost of adoption. And now, they also have have a special needs orphanage in China called Maria's Big House of Hope.

And just listen to what God is doing through Show Hope....the Chinese government saw how amazing MBHOH was with their own eyes. They saw how the children there were being loved and cared for. And guess what they did? They asked Show Hope to take over the special needs floors on all of the state run orphanages in the province of Luoyang. Can you even believe it?! God is moving in the hearts of a government that doesn't allow its people to even worship Him. So now, SH is raising the funds to begin 2 special needs floors in two state run orphanages in Luoyang, as well as give grants and run MBHOH.

Last Sunday, I went to the SCC concert and worked at the Show Hope table for the evening. What an amazing experience. I've done camp fairs too many times to count. I've talked to people about camp and how amazing it is (and it really is). But there was something about helping people become sponsors and sharing with them the wonder of adoption and caring for orphans that made/makes me feel alive inside. Adoption has always, always, always been a big passion of mine. I put my money where my mouth is. I support it and believe in it and pray every single day that I will be able to do it one day. Oh, how I loved looking into the eyes of concert goers and thanking them for choosing to help the orphans of the world. My "thank you" was sincere and most of the time with tear filled eyes.

I was also able to meet Julia, Caleb's wife. She works for Show Hope and was the representative for them at the concert. She was so kind and sweet and just fun. It was really neat to see her passion for Show Hope and hear her get excited to tell people about it.

There were a bunch of other volunteers with me too. Several families with their children. Two girls about my age that worked for an adoption agency that has an office in the area. One of the families has 4 kids and they are adopting 3 siblings from South America! It was so neat to hear their story. They were also SH grant recipients.

There was one other family there, and their story is just as beautiful. I'll share that one tomorrow. It's one I will never, ever forget....

care for them

(source)

It's Orphan Awareness Sunday.

What a perfect opportunity to advocate for adoption and the care of the least of these. God commands us in James (James 1:27) to care for the orphans. It isn't a choice. It's easy to think that it is. It's easy to say, "oh, that's someone else's place, not mine. I have my own family to consider." Nope, sorry. If you are a believer, it is your responsibility to love orphans.

What will you do to help the orphans of the world?


See the sidebar for some great organizations where you can help ---------->

And check out this video from Cry of the Orphan.

heart wrenching thing

Can I tell you one of the heart wrenching things in the world? I experienced it for the first time right before I left for vacation. It may seem so simple, but I promise you I teared up about 10 times and gulped back a sob or two.

The little girl I sponsor through An Orphan's Wish turned one last month. I wanted to send her a card, so I went searching for one in Target. Now, you wouldn't think that buying a birthday card for a one year old would induce tears, but, dear goodness, it did.

Imagine with me, if you will, what the inside of a birthday card says. Something like this....

"hope your year is full of happiness and love"
"may you be surrounded by the love of your family"
"grow big and strong and always know you are loved"
"since the very first day we met you, we knew you were special"
" you are loved. you are unique. you are beautiful."
"happy birthday from your family who loves you very much"

See? Every single one of those things may never be heard by a child in an orphanage. They may never have the love of a family. They may never be told they are beautiful, special, created by a loving God. Their year may not be filled with love and happiness and laughter.

I'm so very thankful that Shannan is the clubfoot unit at AOW because I know that she is being told those things. I know that she is surrounded by people who genuinely love her even though they are not her forever family. She is being told that she is beautiful and special and loved.

But what if she wasn't? What if she was somewhere else? Tears are welling up now just thinking about her never experiencing love from someone. Her birthday would go by and no one would care that she was another year older. There would be no hugs or kisses or extra special bedtime stories and snuggles.

I thought about my niece and nephew (above). They are showered with love from the second they wake up. And if they happened to be around Nana or Pop Pop or Autie, look out! They will be smothered in hugs and kisses even more so. They know, more than anything in their lives at this point, that they are loved. It's the reason so many of the photos I have of them are full of smiles. They are hope-filled, loved, happy kids.

So, when I finally found a card that would work for the special little one that I was celebrating, I was very precise in my note to her inside. "You are loved. Your are special. You are important." All things that I hope and pray that she might have felt on her special day. All things that I pray she hears whispered to her by a forever family one day.


If you are interested in sponsoring a child through An Orphan's Wish, click here. It could change the life of a little orphan in China forever.

melted heart

My sweet little niece on our vacation 2 weeks ago. It feels like it was a year ago....

You have to read the stories on No Hands But Ours. I read two today (Addie's and Kooper and Kinley's) that just melted my heart and made me desperately want to get married and adopt 6 kids on the spot. Not that I already don't want to do that, but still...


I'm logging off to finish Mockingjay. Everyone around me has finished it and I'm terrified that I will find out what happens....


ps...I'm having issues with Flickr lately. Can't upload anything, which is so frustrating. Hence the reason this photo is so small.

mush, mush I tell you

Photos like this make me go to mush. A giant puddle. A pile of nothingness.

This is the newest little one that I'm sponsoring through An Orphan's Wish. Isn't Shannan just the cutest thing?! Don't you just want to scoop her up and kiss those chubby little cheeks?! Don't you want to whisper in her ear that she is loved by the God of the universe?!


Remember Janie? She has now finished all her casting in the club foot unit at An Orphan's Wish. My sponsorship for her through AOW is now over since her time there was complete. Her little face has continually been on my heart and in my mind. I beg God to send her a loving family who will want her to be theirs forever. A family that will tell her about Jesus and how much HE loves her. A mommy and daddy. Most of the time those prayers come with tears.

If you are interested in standing in the gap for little orphans like Janie and Shannan, being an advocate and helping to heal their physical needs, check out An Orphan's Wish or Show Hope. Both of these incredible organizations are doing so much to care for the orphans in China.

And don't forget....these precious ones also need loving families. Could that be you?!

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." - James 1:27

an epiphany and a challenge

(photo found here)

The other night, I had an epiphany as I was getting ready to climb under the covers to go to sleep. It's like God just opened my eyes to something that had been in place for a while now. I just hadn't noticed it before. It was one of those moments that I could almost feel Him holding my hand and pointing.

As I said a few days ago, one of my favorite blogs this past year was A Place Called Simplicity. They have a family that is from many nations. One big happy family blended together by the Lord. It's a beautiful picture. It's one that instantly clicked with me.

You see, if I ever get married and have a family one day, I always picture that family as a rainbow of countries all living under one roof. Happy faces (cause in your dreams everything is happiness and light) of different colors and nations all crowded into one family photo. I don't think I've ever pictured a white, American child. Don't know why. That's just the way it is.

So as I was reading the blog of this family and bemoaning the fact that, hey, I'm 32. I'm still single. I'm getting older by the moment and parenthood is looking less and less like an option for me. It was kinda disheartening. It kinda had me depressed for a moment.

Then, I climbed up in bed and looked up at my frame that is at the front of the bed.
It is full of photos for people that I pray for. Three of those photos have a little face of a specific child on the other side of the world. A child that I support through Amazima, An Orphan's Wish and Compassion. And then it hit me. I teared up and got chills. These aren't technically "my" children and they aren't all orphans, but this was a rainbow of faces and nations all on one photo board.

It was like God was tapping me on the shoulder and then pointing to those photos and saying SEE. He guided me to these specific children from the millions that are in the world in the 100's of organizations that support children. He hand-chose these little ones to be the ones that I support and pray for and love even if it's a country away. Ok, I have chills again.

At this point in my life, a family isn't my reality. It isn't a home full of children. But I am still doing my best to care for the orphan and be an advocate for the least of these. I'm still working on this dream in the best way that I can at this point in my life. And my "family" is these little ones that crawled into my heart. God put them in my path and I'm so, so thankful that I was brave enough to step forward in small way to support them. I spent a few moments just thanking Him for answered prayers that were answered in ways I didn't expect. It was amazing!

So, my challenge to you is that you look around in the things that are happening in your life right now and SEE what God has right in front of you. How is He blessing you and growing you in ways that you might just now be noticing? Remember to be thankful for those things. Remember to glorify Him in them as well.

give it away

Ok, I just feel like I NEED to this again each year. I know you could read back through any of the other times I've written things similar to this, but it can't hurt to remind everyone again, right?!!

Here are a few of my humble suggestions for GIVING this Christmas. Ways to HELP someone in need. Ways to look beyond my(your)self and see the world that Jesus calls us to SEE and LOVE.

And just so you know (and most likely already do if you have read my blog for any amount of time) I love orphan ministry. It's the burden God laid on my heart when I was little. So, most of the organizations I support are orphan based. I know there are many, many wonderful organizations that do other great works in the world. This is just the path that the Lord led me on.

Okay...onward....

1. Show Hope (Shaohannah's Hope)

Show Hope is an organization that cares for orphans. They give grants to Christian families that want to adopt, but need help with the funds it requires. They also have a special needs orphanage in China that opened this year. I've been supporting them for years and have been blown away with how they operate. They are doing a mighty work in the life of orphans around the globe. And their founders are Steven and Mary Beth Chapman, whom I simple think the world of.
Every month I get either an email or a post card with the story of a family that has been able to adopt because of a grant from Shaohannah's Hope. It's a crazy, God-filled story most of the time. And usually I finish the last sentence with tear filled eyes. How beautiful to see orphans placed in homes where they will learn about the love of Jesus!

2. Amazima Ministries

This one is new this year for me, but it has dramatically changed my life. I found Katie's blog though an adoption blog that I used to read. After hearing her story and seeing her heart, I instantly knew that I had to be involved. Amazima helps children in Uganda. The founder is a 21 year old girl who has adopted 14 little girls. Her organization helps feed, cloth, and educate hundred of children through sponsors. It's incredible. I could go on for hours about Amazima, but instead I suggest you read Katie's blog from the beginning. Be prepared though...it could change your life forever.

3. Compassion
Every time I get a letter from my little sponsored child in Indonesia, I'm reminded of the important work that Compassion is doing. They get it. They do it right. This year I also got a letter from my sponsored child's pastor. Compassion believes in the ministry of the church and how important it is in the spiritual growth of their children. I love, love, love Compassion.

4. Living Hope International
I support a friend who is in China with her family working with Living Hope. Living Hope helps the orphans of China is so many different ways. They run orphanages. They teach English. They show orphans love. You can read more here. Those little faces will melt your heart.

5. An Orphan's Wish
I introduced you all to Janie a few weeks ago. I support her through An Orphan's Wish. This the newest organization that I've been involved with, but I really am loving how their organization works. I found them through another adoption blog I read. The author is the volunteer in charge of the clubfoot unit, so she posts about AOW often. AOW also has a blog, which shows pictures of the adorable orphans and the medical care they are receiving.
An Orphan's Wish helps special needs Chinese orphans. They help them get the medical care they need, so they can lead happy healthy lives. Some of them even go on to get adopted after their life changing surgeries. AOW lets you sponsor a child and directly impact their life. It's amazing!


I pray that God speaks to your heart about giving this year. And not that it has to be to one of these organizations. I'd love to see where He leads YOU! The most important thing is that we step out in faith and do what He asks. Maybe that money sitting in your bank account (which isn't yours anyway...sorry, but it's true) is the money He has set aside to feed one of Katie's children. His money is spread out all over the world in bank accounts of 1,000's of believers who are "saving it for a rainy day." I am totally guilty of that too. But stepping out and giving when we are called, giving when it doesn't make logical sense for our "savings" account, giving when we can't spare a single penny, that is where Jesus lives. That is where miracles are. That is where we see Him more clearly.

Are you ready to let Him lead you on a great giving adventure?!!

on my radar

Last night's Mad Men season finale. "oh.my.gosh" was the phrase said over and over between me and my fellow MM loving friend. So, SO good.





An Orphan's Wish (Those little Chinese orphans captured my heart today. One in particular.)


Girls weekend memories (my camera/computer connection isn't playing nice at the moment. Photos will have to come later.)

This movie (You know I love a good story about families taking in kids who need homes. I almost cry during the preview. Can't imagine what I'll be like in the movie)

Up (Comes out on DVD tomorrow. MUST see it again/13 more times. It was one of my favorites of this year.)

The title track off of SCC's new CD Beauty Will Rise

Luke wk 1 (I gave myself a challenge last week. Read the book of Luke in 1 week. The whole thing. A few chapters every day. It was so good that I decided to do it again this week.)


The Mysterious Benedict Society (It's getting better by the chapter)


What's on your radar lately?