relief

I've said before that I read a lot of blogs. Lots. I'm addicted. Maybe it's just my love of reading biographies vamped up in real time. China adoption, paper crafts, photography, Zach Braff, random finds. There are so many that I just love to read.
But from the very first, there has been one that has been my favorite. It started out as a China adoption blog, but grew into so much more. I found it over 2 years ago, just as the family got their referral for their daughter. The mom, writer of the blog, is the most incredible writer. She had a way with words that I was just in awe of. She is the reason I started this blog, oh so long ago. I loved logging in each day to see what was going on in their lives. I felt like a part of the family. We emailed back and forth a couple times.
She decided to go private and password protect her site about a year or so ago. Totally understandable. She was kind enough to let me along into her "protected" world, even after she changed a second time to tighten the circle. Well, about a month ago, she tightened security again and this time I was on the outside. I was never upset at her decision. How could I be when it was her life and child to protect? I completely understood, but, oh, how I missed her. I missed hearing how she was doing. I prayed for her constantly. I kept her bookmark in my favorites because I just couldn't say goodbye.
Well, today I clicked on her link just cause I hadn't done it in a couple weeks. I screamed with delight when the page loaded and it was filled with pictures and new entries!!! She was back! Sadly, the top post from the beginning of the month, was that she had decided to stop blogging. But, I got to catch up on everything I had missed. Pictures, stories, words. It was the closure my heart needed.
And the coolest part....I didn't tell you that she had cancer. She stopped blogging right when she was going to have her last treatment after it had returned for the umpteenth time and the prognosis was very bleak. My heart was so burdened for her, knowing all of this was going on and not being able to hear anything. Sometimes I would literally wake up in the middle of the night just thinking about their family and praying for her that God would heal her. Well, as I read through the posts beginning at the time I left off, on to the present, I came to the post that was the answer to my prayers. Her cancer was gone. Not gone like it-might-come-back-in-a-couple-weeks, but GONE. This new treatment had worked and she was done. Done with it all. I'm crying now even as I write this. I don't think I realized how much this had been on my heart and mind until I read it today. It was like a giant release, a huge weight lifted off of my heart.
It's okay to say goodbye now. Who knows...maybe one day we may meet in person at a random time in our lives. All I know is that her blog was a big part of my life. And if I do ever adopt from China, her family will be in my thoughts each and every step of the way.
Thank you, my friend, for all you shared and letting me ride along. May you embrace the life ahead of you and live every moment to it's fullest.