January 03, 2011

I intended to write something else, but this came out instead.

Tomorrow, it's back to the office,
In some ways, I'm ready.
I've had a nice long, long break.
More than most people get.
One that I desperately needed.
One that I'm so very thankful for.

I was able to relax. Enjoy small moments. Sleep in. Watch tons of Smallville. Do some crafts. Take some photos. Hang out with friends. Laugh. Play. Hang out with my whole family, which is a once-a-year type of deal now. Talk to my brother face to face. Make Luke and Evelyn laugh and run and giggle. Think. Plan.

It was so wonderful. And honestly, I could still take another month. But I'm also now ready to jump back into what is coming. I'm more prepared to work too much and be tired and used up.

I'm so incredibly thankful that this job comes with seasons. Seasons of busy, busy, crazy busy. And a nice slow December to let us breathe again. God is so gracious to allow us this slow time before the real craziness begins.

January is here. That means hiring new staff for the summer. Registering campers. Lots of churches and groups want to use our property for events. Schools want to come for field trips. We work long days and lots of hours.

This time around, I really want to focus on having the right attitude and letting the Lord use me exactly as He wants to. I haven't handled things so well recently. There's been some whining. There's been complaining. There's been tears and frustration. But God is so patient with me (and my friends here too). He is graciously showing me His plan. He is reminding me that HE is my strength and my joy. My identity is in HIM. I'm not an un-married, childless, short, 33 year old, who likes to play with fabric and yarn, who misses her brother and gets discouraged at times. I am chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, an heir and secure. So says Ephesians 1:4-14 (via my pastor on Sunday morning).

When I see myself in that way, it's easier to keep my focus straight. It's easier to remember why I'm here. I'm able to serve with a joyful heart even when it's hard.

Ministry is hard. It just is. One would think I would remember that. One would think that I would be on the lookout for the evil one as he tries to deceive me and lie to me and discourage me. Well, I've got my game face on now.

So, let's go 2011.

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