October 27, 2008

this is a long one

(my skirt in the sunshine yesterday. random photos....love them.)

What have I been doing?

Pre-ordering Salvation Club, which comes out tomorrow. Wishing to the high heavens I could go to his concert....

Finishing up engagement pictures. Yup, they are going in the mail before the end of the week, R & K!

Working. Lots of mopping, sweeping, wiping off tables, serving food and trying to understand how women can scrapbook for 48 hours straight?!!

Finishing up season 2 of my current obsession and not being able to stop watching what was next even if it was 11:30pm and I had to be at work the next day @ 7am. Well, I guess technically most of the watching was done while editing pictures, so at least I was accomplishing something. What, oh what, will I do when I finish up this show? How will I ever edit? I'll have to find a new secret weapon. But it won't have the Cohen's....boo-hoo.

Cleaning, organizing and de-cluttering my closet. I took an ENTIRE car trunk-full of stuff to Goodwill. It felt SO good to drive away from all that stuff. Stuff is consuming sometimes.

Taking a day by myself. Going to Target, the library and Panera Bread to read. Sometimes I really love being by myself.

Why I took a break.....
It's funny....I started trying to blog once a day - every day - a couple months ago. I really loved it. I loved going back and reading my rambles. The last week or so, I had been really just blah about writing and trying to think of something of interest to say. Not that I really say anything that interesting - ever. But I enjoy the process of writing.
So when I started to get in a slump, I got kinda scared. I thought that this whole phase was over and my little blog would become forgotten. I was kinda mourning its loss when I signed off Friday not knowing IF or when I would come back. I didn't want to return to writing just because I felt obligated to myself to do it. I know there aren't really many people that read this. I know that I don't write thinking that people really care about it, but it mattered to me. I was sad that it would all be over.
Well, Saturday was a good break. I didn't miss it. Again, slight panic that I wouldn't miss it ever again! But then Sunday rolled around, and I was constantly thinking of posts to write. Every little thing I did was an "oh, I could post about that" zing. I kinda wanted to write...kinda. But I didn't let myself. I said no and watched the OC instead and wrote more of my little story.
Today, I WANTED to write. I think I realized that writing is a big outlet for me. No, it's nothing important. It's not the next best selling novel, article, post or script. It's not any of those things.
But I enjoy it. And there are so few things in life that we can truly jump into and LOVE. Something that is OURS and not our family's or significant other's or best friend's. It's ours. It makes us breather easier and live a little more fully. Those little things are what make us special, what make us tick. They are how we are uniquely created by God, unlike any other person on earth. It doesn't even have to mean anything to any one else. It's just who we are.

"Make careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. Each one of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."
-so says Paul in Galatians 6

I'm still learning on this journey God has for me. Lately He has been making me think in ways I never have before. I'm open to things I used to be terrified of. I'm starting to see a little more clearly what He has created me to do and that has only happened as I've gotten to know HIM better. When HE is more dear and familiar to me, then I don't feel like my thoughts and dreams are ridiculous. I see them through the light of who HE is.

I know, I know, a little too deep for taking a blog break, right? Well, sometimes God speaks to me loudest in the mundane, the quiet times, the moments that I'm not so consumed with myself. Sometimes I have to take a step back to see the whole picture and discover what He is painting in the details.

And with that.....

I'm happy to be back.

Tonight's post written while listening to: Owl City and Sigur Ros (word of warning...beware the album art... I'm loving their newest album Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust at the moment)


tp said...

:) i'm happy you're back too.

Tiffany said...

i would be sad if there was not a blog to read from you! don't leave!!