January 26, 2008

the dreaded question

Why, why, oh why do people think it's OK to ask...

"so how come YOU haven't gotten married yet?"

I'll be honest. I think it's incredibly rude and kinda hurtful. I was asked said question today by someone who will remain nameless while I was out and around town shopping. I don't believe that they intended their question to be mean. I really don't. But honestly!

We were talking about my family and when I told said person that it was my sister and not me that was married and she was the one that had a child, well that's when the lovely question arose.

I answered with the only thing I could think of (being taken slightly off guard)...

"well, I guess that just isn't God's plan for me at this moment."

After thinking about it for several hours now, I, of course, came up with better replies like...

"Wow, that was kinda mean. Don't know how to answer that."
"That is a great question. Why don't you tell me 'cause obviously I haven't figured it out yet."
"Well, if you must know, I was in love with the perfect man, but he was tragically killed 2 months before our wedding." (this isn't true, but heck, if I haven't thought about saying it anyway to see how they would back peddle out of it.)
"Guess I'm not pretty enough. Do you think I'm pretty?"
Burst into tears and walk away saying "I'm sorry, I have to go."
Hit the offender across the face and laugh while screaming "how dare you!"
"I'm 'saving myself for Luke Perry'." (quoted from one of my favorite movies)
"I tend to only meet creepy guys at the bars I go to and I just don't want to settle down with someone who is constantly plastered." (sarcastic, readers. I'm being sarcastic.)
"You mean I SHOULD be married now? Is 30 that old?"
"I think God hates me." (man, oh man I wish I had the courage to say that just see their reaction.)

So to all of you who love to ask single people this question (and I'm not saying it's any of you fine, lovely readers), or any question similar to it, know this....WE DON'T LIKE IT! Most of us are happy with our lives. Most of us would like to be married one day, if that's what God wants, but we are OK with being patient right now. And most of the time, we are much more OK with it than you are for some reason.


Anonymous said...

Thanks April!! I needed that! I'll have to use your responses myself!! Have you talked to our grandma lately?!?!
Love, your older single cousin!

Audrey said...

Oh how I can relate to your post. Only my question was always, "when are you going to have a baby?" Then if I told them I had infertiliy the advice would start rolling! {Just relax, My sister's cousins best friend of a friend did so and so and they got pregnant right away.} {You know they have these pills that a girl I know from work who's 5th cousins best friend took them and right away they get pregnant.} {You should adopt that always cures infertility} The one that always got me. {It must not be Gods will for you to have a child or he would've given you one by now.} Ok, so I could go on and on but I do understand a little. I'm sorry that you have to deal with these thoughless comments. People try to make you feel as if there is something wrong with you but the problem is in their own heart. Stand proud and next time you get asked that question tell them you've already found your Prince Charming, his name is Jesus, and it takes a mighty tall order to fill his shoes! :)

cottage girl said...

i love you, Audrey...really. thanks.